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Tuesday, December 2 @ 2:10 PM
Holidays have been going pretty badly this time. Probably it's like that always, but just worse than ever this year. Fortunately, I didn't have to go to India or something. With the absence of friends, one in Shanghai, one right here in Bishan, but quite busy, others merely being there as decoration, and the reduction of time spent with my dear brother, plus miscommunication with my dance group, not forgetting the prolonged distance between me and him, I'm really quite lonely. Choir kept me alive for the past one month, but now, there are no more practices. When I attempt to spend time painting, it just doesn't come like it used to. I end off lying on my bed, pondering over so many issues. Things that made me feel so worthless. Things that did not let me to shine, like how I used to and can. Things that caused my self-esteem to plunge to its nadir. Temptations. Adolescence. Friends. Social life. Need for feeling important. Need for attention. Love. Family. Character. Society. Prerequisites. Academics. Music. Dance. Theatre. Passion. Dreams. Sometimes, I just feel like switching my sign to Aquarius or Aries, whatsoever. A sign which can allow you to remain lively and enthusiastic almost all the time, being the spotlight, instead of the one always being overshadowed by others. I'm tired of giving in to others, letting them dazzle, while I stoop lower and lower, for their benefit. Now, it's time for me to live my life the way I want. To experience all my passions and love to the fullest, instead of starving my soul into submission. |